Changing a lock

The locksmith, whom I will call Bert, was due back at noon to replace the lock. Surprisingly, Bert called before noon to let us know that he was running late. At 12:30pm, Bert arrived. Nicole and I planned to go to the paint store once the lock was replaced. So much for plans. Around 5:30pm, a second locksmith, Ernie, arrived.

Vadim, Nicole's husband, called and when he found out that French people were still at work and that it was after 4:15pm, he demanded that we take photos of this historic occasion. We declined.

Hours later, after significant banging, muttering, drilling, muttering, and grinding, we heard the sounds of congratulation passing between Bert and Ernie. I wandered over towards the door as Ernie was leaving. Bert smiled at me and waved me over to try the door. I reached out, grasped the door handle, turned and pulled ... hmmm, the door did not move but I now was in possession of a door handle. I looked over at Bert. He was no longer smiling.

Bert took the handle from me and re-attached it to the door. I tried the door twice more with the same results. Bert and I started talking to one another about this issue. Since I do not speak French and Bert did not speak any English, communication was slightly limited. Basically, Bert was assuring me that everything was ok; that I needed to be more gentle with the door knob. I did not agree. I tend to believe that while it is important to be able to unlock and open a door when standing on the exterior side, it is equally important to be able to unlock and open a door when standing on the interior side of the door. Call me crazy.

Finally, I called Nicole over and wanted her to speak in French to Bert and forcefully demand that the job was not complete until the door could be effectively opened from either side. She looked at me like I was crazy. It seems that French men rarely listen to women. We were in luck though since for the past 15 minutes Nicole had been cornered in the hallway listening to an elderly neighbor while Bert and I calmly dicussed the purpose of a door. She asked her neighbor to talk to the locksmith. After a few minutes of conversation, Bert glared at me, smiled at the old man, and then went back to work. 15 minutes later, after some more drilling and muttering, the job was concluded.

So after about 16 man-hours of labor, our lock is fixed, and the door can be opened from either side. French engineering at is best. Off to bed.